part one: how i lost my swagger

No surprises here, I had all kinds of good intentions of diarizing every game I umpire here in the UK.... but I'm just so way behind. There's also that little matter of boredom - I wasn't even interested in writing about each game, which is a good sign not to do so.

What I will talk about, almost 5 weeks into my 6-month secondment, is that I think I've turned the corner. Understanding how this bend came to be in my path takes a little bit of background reading, so I'll try to set it out here in part one of a two-part series, never to be titled: "How Keely Got Her Whistle Back." (You can read part two here.)

(C'mon. There was absolutely nothing for me to work with here. You're either an umpire as well and interested in a voyeuristic sense, or you're already back to trolling on YouTube.)

There have been two watershed events in my umpiring career over the past year or so. The first was the Junior World Cup in September 2005. I worked hard at the test matches that came my way and arranged to join the Canadian U21s in Argentina the week prior to Chile to help in my preparation. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to know that although the odds were seriously against me, being one of only 2 umpires at the bottom of the totem pole status-wise, I could at least make a good impression.

In hindsight, I can say the JWC went well given the approach that the powers-that-be took with appointments. Rather than using it to develop younger and less experienced umpires with promise, they used the elite World Panel and Development Panel umpires heavily and for the most part did all of the significant games - including the 9th-place match being staffed by the same two umpires who did the final the next day. I did 5 games, 3 of which were "upper-tier", the last 2 between "Group G" (bottom four) teams.

Not bad, although the feedback I received from the tournament was alternately mystifying and offensive. The two things I took from that tournament was that I had to develop my own personal umpiring style, and that I was too fat. The exact words were that I needed to "develop a more athletic approach" in order to "present a more streamlined international presence". Talk about a recipe for an eating disorder - and at the time, I chose to ignore the advice.

The second watershed event was the main catalyst to embark on this madcap adventure. I had my first real "bad experience" at the CAC Games. I put "bad experience" in those quotation marks not to indicate that was actually something other than a bad experience. Rather, every umpire knows what a "bad experience" really means. A f**k up.

It's not actually tough to admit that part. I take full responsibility for what I did do wrong in the game, which was that I failed to give the appropriate cards that I needed to give for what I did see happen. I do know and was told that technically, I had a very accurate game. The outcome in terms of the scoreline was not affected by my calls - my biggest (and most umpires') nightmare. Clearly, I did lose control by not just pulling out the yellows when I should have - and the onus was clearly on my because my colleague was out of it from the opening whistle. What I don't take responsibility for is not seeing the two red cardable incidents (oh yes, this was a women's game, and there were two red cards) for which suspensions were handed out after the game. And I certainly don't take responsibility for being suspended (along with my colleague) for a full day of matches, forcing two of my teammates to whistle two international games in a single day in 40 degree heat and 95% humidity.

Before I'd started the long plane ride home from the Dominican Republic, I knew I had to do something. I'm not the kind of person that can get kicked like that and not want to kick back. I could have sat back in Canada, licked my wounds for a couple of years, and hope for the best when I got my next shot. Maybe I'd be okay, or maybe I'd be like some of the umpires I'd met after their "bad experiences"; embittered and totally lacking self-confidence on the pitch. I chose the Redpill.

The umpiring abroad meme was placed in my brain by Ray O'Connor (former #1 world panel umpire, now FIH UM), several years ago. I first met him in 2003 in California, just months after I'd been awarded my international badge. I fell for him (platonically, folks) in that way that students occasionally do for professiorial figures - that complete, adoring hero-worship. He could have told me that jumping off a bridge would improve my umpiring and I would have asked which one was the best candidate and would he please be there to give me feedback on my jump. Luckily, he used his powers for good and not evil and told me that at some point soon, I'd need to get out of the Pan Am region in order to get to where I wanted to go. Canada wouldn't do it for me, and the competition in this region was too infrequent as well as too poor of standard (aside from one or two teams).

At the time, I showed that particular brand of naive bravado I was so good at early in my umpiring career. I could go anytime, I told him. My husband is completely supportive (have I told you lately? Thank you!) and money isn't an issue. So it took a stinging and personal rebuke at the JWC and a "bad experience" at a Pan Am games qualifier to push me into action.

England was the most likely candidate, with heaps of family that I am very sad to say I grew up without, connections to several local international umpires and a fine English person located somewhere in Holland happy to lend a hand. I knew that there would be (and is) a new set of political obstacles to surmount, but it seemed like the better choice than sitting at home in Canada, letting the decay set in.

Woowee - bet you can't wait for part two!

Comments

[Cris Maloney]

Hi Keely --

My name is Cris Maloney and I'm the publisher of UmpireHockey.com. I enjoy your writing and would like to know if you would be interested in having "how i lost my swagger" and your "how I got my whistle back" published on UmpireHockey.com.

I think the pieces would be very helpful to many umpires.

All the best...Cris

Cris Maloney
Publisher
UmpireHockey.com